Speechless until NOW...
Have you ever asked yourself why do things go all sooooo wrong? Well, I do.... And this time round, it has gotten so bad that I don't have the solutions I so sort for...
Have you ever lost your trust and faith in someone, like someone has actually betrayed you? Well, I sorta did. But not to the extend that I've lost all of it. Juz shakened.
No...... Its not the end of the world... And no.................... It hasn't changed anything. It juz came to a point of time whereby I lost my sense of direction and lost my way in my thoughts.
You know, life is really filled with surprises. Surprises that you'd either love or hate. Well, I juz received one that I would really love to hate.
But, at the end of it all, I finally was able to figure out my thoughts. Finally able to put my thoughts into words,
"In the beginning, I hinted with a touch of humor added to lighten the mood. I was able to cope with it. Or so I thought till the meetings became so constant. I brushed them aside. I was hurting... Kinda.... But blows after blows, the hurt became all too real for me to handle. I tried to think nothing of it. But I guess it was juz too much for a human being to endure. I cried discreetly. Teared to sleep. However, I wasn't able to talk about it... I couldn't... Not when I don't even know what to say. My heart and mind were in conflict. Its as the saying/song title goes, "When Love and Hate Collide". I could've placed a stop to it altogether, but it juz wasn't the right thing to do. I hate to control. Coz it ain't my way of life. Freedom is our own to grasp. I thought that if my pain could be exchanged for the needed freedom, so be it. I'm not being noble, don't get me wrong. I'm juz submitting to what I believe in. I guess it juz gotten too deep. All the thoughts and feelings juz got the better of me. However, what is done, has been done. All I can do is juz look back and ponder where have I gone wrong. Is allowing freedom really something that needs to be controlled? I hate to think that way....."
Have you ever lost your trust and faith in someone, like someone has actually betrayed you? Well, I sorta did. But not to the extend that I've lost all of it. Juz shakened.
No...... Its not the end of the world... And no.................... It hasn't changed anything. It juz came to a point of time whereby I lost my sense of direction and lost my way in my thoughts.
You know, life is really filled with surprises. Surprises that you'd either love or hate. Well, I juz received one that I would really love to hate.
But, at the end of it all, I finally was able to figure out my thoughts. Finally able to put my thoughts into words,
"In the beginning, I hinted with a touch of humor added to lighten the mood. I was able to cope with it. Or so I thought till the meetings became so constant. I brushed them aside. I was hurting... Kinda.... But blows after blows, the hurt became all too real for me to handle. I tried to think nothing of it. But I guess it was juz too much for a human being to endure. I cried discreetly. Teared to sleep. However, I wasn't able to talk about it... I couldn't... Not when I don't even know what to say. My heart and mind were in conflict. Its as the saying/song title goes, "When Love and Hate Collide". I could've placed a stop to it altogether, but it juz wasn't the right thing to do. I hate to control. Coz it ain't my way of life. Freedom is our own to grasp. I thought that if my pain could be exchanged for the needed freedom, so be it. I'm not being noble, don't get me wrong. I'm juz submitting to what I believe in. I guess it juz gotten too deep. All the thoughts and feelings juz got the better of me. However, what is done, has been done. All I can do is juz look back and ponder where have I gone wrong. Is allowing freedom really something that needs to be controlled? I hate to think that way....."
posted by Samuel!!! at 4:06 AM
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